um. . .something that happened or didn't, but the end is true.

maybe it is raining. maybe. and i am taking off my clothes and i am thinking about crying but i don't know how to start. and it is raining. maybe. and i can hear the sea in the cup of your hand and i am thinking about never putting my clothes back on. and i am trying not to think. too much. i am trying not to think. and i remember that joke the old man was telling his sister while we waited for the train but not all of it. and i remember walking down the sidewalk with a friend. the smell of leaves. the smell of rain and leaves and wet cement. and i am trying to tell you something. all of you. all of you. i am trying to tell you i love you. all of you. everyone. every light in the night. i love you. all of you. all of  each of you.